The Splendid Sudopedia In Poetic Form

Anything goes, but keep it seemly...

Postby emm » Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:21 am

Mark, a candidate for President, who
Hatched a plot to knock off his opponent
Using one cluster bomb, maybe two,
To create a more opportune moment.

He fixed a long fuse to the table
To eliminate his foe was the plan.
The locked pair he thought would be able
To constrain that blockhead with elan.

With deadly intentions in mind,
Implications of which may seem valid,
He lay on the floor (he reclined)
Digit poised to depress, face quite palid.

He was locked in a chain of destruction,
But he blocked the fear from his brain,
And made a quick box line reduction
By brute force the boxed bomb to constrain.

But an explosion blasted the rows
And columns 'to jigsaw size pieces.
When Jellyfish fired in salvoes,
They made the floor as slippy as grease is.

To walkthrough the mess was a mission,
But his Colt 45 ruled the day.
He’d stacked boxes of live ammunition
A bivalue universal grave for his prey.

In the band of his boxers he'd hidden
A gun, or just pleased to see me?
“Are you hinting,” she said, “Or just kiddin’?
emm
 
Posts: 987
Joined: 02 July 2005

Postby emm » Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:25 am

The girls who all wore simple colours,
Mini-skirts, mini-cols, mini-cuffs,
Claiming those audacious rumours
Were just lies spread by sad, single toughs.

Ariadne resented the inference
That she'd interacted last night.
“These marks aren't bad Bingo’s big imprints,
They’re the site of a big bed bug’s bite!”

"My unit's infested with termites!
Elimination's called for, but how?
They've got pincers! Don't turn off the BUG lites!
See that monster! The size of a cow!"

"I'm your man!" came a voice from the backdoor
"I am the law! Of leftovers? None!"
I’ll fix these big BUGs you’ve got trapped, or
By your thread I will chain up each one!

So the candidates, Ariadne and Mark
A locked pair? who knows? Just wait and see.
Tried and erred on the floor in the dark.
He claimed innie. "No, outie!", cried she.

"I'd call that a conflict of interest,"
She blushed, with advanced colouring,
And fished out her patterned print dress.
"A remote pair we'll stay. Just a fling!"

Their eyes were locked, set in their sockets,
Like the 3D Medusa of legend.
Then a hidden sub set off some rockets
emm
 
Posts: 987
Joined: 02 July 2005

Postby mikejapan » Thu Apr 12, 2007 10:57 am

This is beginning to become the Emm & Mike show (again) so I won't post a new line until next week.
mikejapan
 
Posts: 245
Joined: 27 October 2006

Postby emm » Fri Apr 13, 2007 6:04 am

And if you can't find a rhyme for legend, Mike, it'll be the M&M show. Hehe!
emm
 
Posts: 987
Joined: 02 July 2005

Postby mikejapan » Fri Apr 13, 2007 6:15 am

Legend - bend/blend/offend/friend/send/tend/mend etc etc
or shunned/stunned/refund/gunned etc etc.

Any of these words would be on a par to rhyming "hidden" with "kiddin'"
mikejapan
 
Posts: 245
Joined: 27 October 2006

Postby MCC » Fri Apr 13, 2007 8:41 am

Mark, a candidate for President, who
Hatched a plot to knock off his opponent
Using one cluster bomb, maybe two,
To create a more opportune moment.

He fixed a long fuse to the table
To eliminate his foe was the plan.
The locked pair he thought would be able
To constrain that blockhead with elan.

With deadly intentions in mind,
Implications of which may seem valid,
He lay on the floor (he reclined)
Digit poised to depress, face quite palid.

He was locked in a chain of destruction,
But he blocked the fear from his brain,
And made a quick box line reduction
By brute force the boxed bomb to constrain.

But an explosion blasted the rows
And columns 'to jigsaw size pieces.
When Jellyfish fired in salvoes,
They made the floor as slippy as grease is.

To walkthrough the mess was a mission,
But his Colt 45 ruled the day.
He’d stacked boxes of live ammunition
A bivalue universal grave for his prey.

In the band of his boxers he'd hidden
A gun, or just pleased to see me?
“Are you hinting,” she said, “Or just kiddin’?
My pinned digit ? It's as plain as can be.
MCC
 
Posts: 1275
Joined: 08 June 2005

Postby MCC » Fri Apr 13, 2007 8:46 am

The girls who all wore simple colours,
Mini-skirts, mini-cols, mini-cuffs,
Claiming those audacious rumours
Were just lies spread by sad, single toughs.

Ariadne resented the inference
That she'd interacted last night.
“These marks aren't bad Bingo’s big imprints,
They’re the site of a big bed bug’s bite!”

"My unit's infested with termites!
Elimination's called for, but how?
They've got pincers! Don't turn off the BUG lites!
See that monster! The size of a cow!"

"I'm your man!" came a voice from the backdoor
"I am the law! Of leftovers? None!"
I’ll fix these big BUGs you’ve got trapped, or
By your thread I will chain up each one!

So the candidates, Ariadne and Mark
A locked pair? who knows? Just wait and see.
Tried and erred on the floor in the dark.
He claimed innie. "No, outie!", cried she.

"I'd call that a conflict of interest,"
She blushed, with advanced colouring,
And fished out her patterned print dress.
"A remote pair we'll stay. Just a fling!"

Their eyes were locked, set in their sockets,
Like the 3D Medusa of legend.
Then a hidden sub set off some rockets
Guess our number's up - Is it the end?
MCC
 
Posts: 1275
Joined: 08 June 2005

Postby emm » Sat Apr 14, 2007 12:44 am

OK, this isn't Pulitzer poetry I know, but here's the basic rule of rhyme.

Words rhyme when they sound the same (not look the same) from the last stressed vowel sound through to the end of the word. Chopstick doesn't rhyme with crabstick, it rhymes with mopstick.

So unfortunately, MCC, the end doesn't really rhyme with legend - nor did any on Mike's list, because they all stress end or worse und while legend stresses ege. We say LEDGend not ledgEND. In fact, I don't know that there is a rhyme for legend - unless you make up a word like wedge-end.

I'm not saying that rhymes have to be perfect here and sometimes a funny near-rhyme works better than a true one - I actually thought interest / print dress was pretty funny myself, but that might just be me:D - but if it's perfection we're after, then we have to have the goal in sight at least.

And for the record, hidden does rhyme with kiddin' (though not with kidding of course).
emm
 
Posts: 987
Joined: 02 July 2005

Postby mikejapan » Sat Apr 14, 2007 5:16 am

But poetic licence allows you to stress any word how you want to. Therefore, surely if you want to say legEND you can.

(Need I mention "samnampure"?)

Plus, legend is pronounced leg-und so it can't rhyme with wedge-end.

Plus, MCC should be cut some slack because he stopped it being the emm & M show.
mikejapan
 
Posts: 245
Joined: 27 October 2006

Postby emm » Sun Apr 15, 2007 1:09 am

Well, Mike, poetic licence is one thing, bad rhyming when you don’t know any better, is another.Image

Of course you can say legEND if you want - you can say sushi rhymes with cheeseburger if you want - but why settle for less than best? LEGend or LEGund, either way it isn’t stressed on the second syllable and if you try to force it that way, it just won’t sound right.

It’s the kind of thing that’s done a lot in song lyrics. With a melody you can get away with it, because you hear it sung and get the idea of how it’s supposed to go. But the written word read unaided, needs to be like English as it’s spoken, or you’ll lose the reader. (I think, anyway)

Your lines are good, MCC, and the end rhyme is fine, considering the options. I hope I haven’t put you off. There’s just something about Mike that brings out the bossy britches in me!
emm
 
Posts: 987
Joined: 02 July 2005

Postby mikejapan » Sun Apr 15, 2007 3:30 am

Me?! It was my fault you critcized MCC' poetry, was it?
Or did you mean Mike Barker?

I'm also pretty sure that in a sane universe you can't rhyme sushi with cheeseburger.
Last edited by mikejapan on Fri Apr 20, 2007 3:21 am, edited 2 times in total.
mikejapan
 
Posts: 245
Joined: 27 October 2006

Postby mikejapan » Sun Apr 15, 2007 4:28 am

There once were two trainee vergers,
Who were interested in business and mergers.
And one Sunday night,
They went out for a bite.
They went to Mcdonalds and had sushi.

No - I can't quite see how it rhymes.
mikejapan
 
Posts: 245
Joined: 27 October 2006

Postby MCC » Sun Apr 15, 2007 8:31 am

How about this Mike:?:
There once were two Japanese vergers,
Who were interested in business and mergers.
And one Sunday night,
They went out for a bite.
They went to McDonalds and had sushiburgers


And as for rhyming:D How about:
William Blake wrote:The Tyger
Tyger, Tyger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder, & what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? & what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears
And water'd heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

Tyger, Tyger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?


Or:
William Blake wrote:Jerusalem
And did those feet in ancient time
Walk upon England's mountains green?
And was the holy Lamb of God
On England's pleasant pastures seen?

And did the Countenance Divine
Shine forth upon our clouded hills?
And was Jerusalem builded here
Among these dark Satanic mills?

Bring me my bow of burning gold!
Bring me my arrows of desire!
Bring me my spear! O clouds unfold!
Bring me my chariot of fire!

I will not cease from mental fight,
Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand
Till we have built Jerusalem
In England's green and pleasant land.

Compare verse 3 to verses 1, 2 & 4.


MCC
MCC
 
Posts: 1275
Joined: 08 June 2005

Postby mikejapan » Sun Apr 15, 2007 11:14 am

"Jerusalem" is one of the few hymns I like - for two reasons.

Firstly, it's a very rousing tune that gets the blood pumping. (ELP did a cover of it on Brain Salad Surgery)

Secondly, the words are nonsensical. The first two verses ask 4 questions which the answer to all of them is "No!"
I must confess to not being a biblical scholar of much note, but I can't recall anywhere where it says Jesus nipped over to the UK for a long weekend.
mikejapan
 
Posts: 245
Joined: 27 October 2006

Postby MCC » Mon Apr 16, 2007 9:01 am

The girls who all wore simple colours,
Mini-skirts, mini-cols, mini-cuffs,
Claiming those audacious rumours
Were just lies spread by sad, single toughs.

Ariadne resented the inference
That she'd interacted last night.
“These marks aren't bad Bingo’s big imprints,
They’re the site of a big bed bug’s bite!”

"My unit's infested with termites!
Elimination's called for, but how?
They've got pincers! Don't turn off the BUG lites!
See that monster! The size of a cow!"

"I'm your man!" came a voice from the backdoor
"I am the law! Of leftovers? None!"
I’ll fix these big BUGs you’ve got trapped, or
By your thread I will chain up each one!

So the candidates, Ariadne and Mark
A locked pair? who knows? Just wait and see.
Tried and erred on the floor in the dark.
He claimed innie. "No, outie!", cried she.

"I'd call that a conflict of interest,"
She blushed, with advanced colouring,
And fished out her patterned print dress.
"A remote pair we'll stay. Just a fling!"

Their eyes were locked, set in their sockets,
Like the 3D Medusa of legend.
Then a hidden sub set off some rockets
Guess our number's up - Is it the end?

Equivalence! Mark states, that's the answer.
MCC
 
Posts: 1275
Joined: 08 June 2005

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