The Splendid Sudopedia In Poetic Form

Anything goes, but keep it seemly...

Postby emm » Fri Apr 20, 2007 9:11 pm

The girls who all wore simple colours,
Mini-skirts, mini-cols, mini-cuffs,
Claiming those audacious rumours
Were just lies spread by sad, single toughs.

Ariadne resented the inference
That she'd interacted last night.
“These marks aren't bad Bingo’s big imprints,
They’re the site of a big bed bug’s bite!”

"My unit's infested with termites!
Elimination's called for, but how?
They've got pincers! Don't turn off the BUG lites!
See that monster! The size of a cow!"

"I'm your man!" came a voice from the backdoor
"I am the law! Of leftovers? None!"
I’ll fix these big BUGs you’ve got trapped, or
By your thread I will chain up each one!

So the candidates, Ariadne and Mark
A locked pair? who knows? Just wait and see.
Tried and erred on the floor in the dark.
He claimed innie. "No, outie!", cried she.

"I'd call that a conflict of interest,"
She blushed, with advanced colouring,
And fished out her patterned print dress.
"A remote pair we'll stay. Just a fling!"

Their eyes were locked, set in their sockets,
Like the 3D Medusa of legend.
Then a hidden sub set off some rockets
Guess our number's up - Is it the end?

"Equivalence!" Mark states, "that's the answer.
We'll write to the PM at once.
This cluster of gems should entrance her."
"She's a he. You're in error! You dunce!"

"What, bivalue? I’d never have guessed
emm
 
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Postby mikejapan » Sat Apr 21, 2007 12:16 am

once = response
won = bun/sun
about = sprout/flout
one = don/con
sushi = cheeseburger:D

As I've been teaching English in Japan for the past 12 years and before that Turkey, I can assure you that you would find my English a lot easier to understand than any US accent.
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Postby mikejapan » Sat Apr 21, 2007 5:35 am

If a dead tall Chinese guy called Chon Chun played for the Suns (I think they're a basketball team but I could be wrong coz my knowledge of basketball is only equalled by my knowledge of Ikea) (BTW where is the list of reasons for Ikea hatred?) how would you pronounce the following;

Sun's Chon Chun once won one
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Postby MCC » Sat Apr 21, 2007 8:16 am

mikejapan wrote:If a dead tall Chinese guy called Chon Chun played for the Suns (I think they're a basketball team but I could be wrong coz my knowledge of basketball is only equalled by my knowledge of Ikea) (BTW where is the list of reasons for Ikea hatred?) how would you pronounce the following;

Sun's Chon Chun once won one

Does one detect a public school accent:?:

Sun's Chon Chun once won one

Rhyming as:
Sun's = buns
Chon = wrong
Chun = Chun(nel) [colloquial name for the Channel Tunnel].
once = wunce
won = bun
one = bun


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Postby mikejapan » Sat Apr 21, 2007 9:37 am

Public school?!! You're kidding! I'm a comprehensive boy through and through. I smoke tabs, drink ale and like footy (not rugby), me. I'm an anti-royalist, lefty, liberal, tree-hugging, inverted snob. Also a Poly-graduate atheist

Does one detect a southern accent:?:
Last edited by mikejapan on Sat Apr 21, 2007 10:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Bigtone53 » Sat Apr 21, 2007 1:57 pm

Does one detect a southern accent


I guess so. Down here One and Won sound just the same.
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Postby mikejapan » Sat Apr 21, 2007 2:26 pm

Sun's Chon Chun once won one
...u.........o......u....o........u...o = My speak - The meaning is crystal clear

Sun's Chon Chun wuns wun wun = ???
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Postby Bigtone53 » Sat Apr 21, 2007 7:58 pm

[quote]Sun's Chon Chun wuns wun wun = ???



Mike, you have been away too long. That is exactly how it is pronounced down south.. Different from the North, I know.:)
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Postby emm » Sat Apr 21, 2007 10:04 pm

mikejapan wrote:Sun's Chon Chun wuns wun wun = ???

Absolutely. That makes three of us - two are your countrymen and I'm an offshoot:D

Sun Chon Chun wuns wun wun
How that guy could shoot and run
Sun Chon Chun wans wun wan
Scored a hoop and then was gone
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Postby mikejapan » Sat Apr 21, 2007 10:59 pm

Well, all I can say is the majority laughed at Galileo too.
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Postby mikejapan » Sun Apr 22, 2007 5:24 am

When the English tongue we speak,
Why is break not rhymed with weak?
Won't you tell me why it's true
We say sew, but also few?
And the maker of a verse
Cannot rhyme his horse with worse?
Beard is not the same as heard,
Cord is different from word,
Cow is cow, but low is low,
Shoe is never rhymed with foe.
Think of hose and dose and lose,
And think of goose and yet of choose,
Think of comb and tomb and bomb,
Doll and roll and home and some.
And since pay is rhymed with say,
Why not paid with said I pray?
Think of blood and food and good;
Mould is not pronounced like could.
Why is it done, but gone and lone -
Is there any reason known?
To sum it up, it seems to me
That sounds and letters don't agree
Once and ponce, they rhyme you see,
But one and won, I disagree.
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Postby emm » Sun Apr 22, 2007 6:28 am

Oarsome!:D
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Postby mikejapan » Sun Apr 22, 2007 6:37 am

Sorry to say I didn't write it (apart from the last two lines) and would have given credit to the author but don't know who wrote it.
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Postby emm » Sun Apr 22, 2007 6:56 am

It’s credited to Lord Cromer Spectator, August 9th, 1902.
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Postby MCC » Sun Apr 22, 2007 8:26 am

How about the actor Sean Bean.

It could be pronounced Shawn Born
Or as Seen Bean.


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