Prison riddle

Anything goes, but keep it seemly...

Postby udosuk » Tue Aug 08, 2006 9:17 am

OMG... Are these people "modern Russians" or time travellers from the Stalin-era U.S.S.R.? Where are Anna Kournikova and Maria Sharapova when you need them (who IMHO are much better stereotypes of "modern Russians")?:D
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Postby RW » Tue Aug 08, 2006 11:23 am

udosuk wrote:Where are Anna Kournikova and Maria Sharapova when you need them


This pictures shows the frequency of how often Maria Sharapova has appeared in the media:
Image

According to the picture she has most often been seen around Belleville, Illinois. Maybe you should look for her there.:)

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Postby udosuk » Tue Aug 08, 2006 4:22 pm

Perhaps I better off start saving money for the tickets to watch her when (if) she comes to Australia next January...:D

Anyway that's data from March 2005... About the time this forum was set up...:!:
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Postby RW » Tue Aug 08, 2006 5:24 pm

udosuk wrote:Anyway that's data from March 2005... About the time this forum was set up...:!:


I know:( , but it's not my fault that the Research Foundation of State University of New York ins't up to date, or is it? I guess they are all too busy spreading democracy around the world so they forgot the most important part of any society, good looking chicks who play tennis!:D
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Postby emm » Tue Aug 08, 2006 10:07 pm

Anna Kournikova and Maria Sharapova
Apairachiks.

The story so far…

Bob, who had escaped the mad warden and the Kremlin’s flunky, McCov, (an apparatchik of Scottish descent) and survived the scorn of an Australian computer programmer and a Finnish musician whose fantasies were more of the flesh than the blood kind, sat warming his toes before a roaring fire in a kabak in Krasnogvardeyskiy and wondered why on earth people from all over the world were out to get him, and what on earth had possessed him to head north towards Siberia in the first place, particularly to a town with such an unpronounceable name, and what was the answer to the switches riddle...
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Postby MCC » Wed Aug 09, 2006 8:46 am

On the run.

You'll never believe it - The prison I was sent to, there was this warden and he said "There's a room with two light switches..." and for some reason everything went red and I thumped him and took to my heels.

But getting back to the light switches, emm I thought you had got this and was just stalling.


PUPPET ON A STRING
ENGLISH
United Kingdom 1967 / Sandie Shaw
Written by Bill Martin & Phil Coulter

I wonder if one day that you'll say that you care
If you say you love me madly, I'll gladly be there
Like a lightswitch with a string

Love is just like a merry-go-round
With all the fun of the fair
One day I'm feeling down on the ground
Then I'm up in the air
Are you leading me on?
Tomorrow, will you be gone?

I wonder if one day that you'll say that you care
If you say you love me madly, I'll gladly be there
Like a lightswitch with a string

I may win on the roundabout
Then I'll lose on the swings
In or out, there is never a doubt
Just who's pulling the strings
I'm all tied up in you
But where's it leading me to?

I wonder if one day that you'll say that you care
If you say you love me madly, I'll gladly be there
Like a lightswitch with a string

I wonder if one day that you'll say that you care
If you say you love me madly, I'll gladly be there
Like a lightswitch with a string

Like a lightswitch with a string


The thing with these switches is that you don't know if they're on or off.
In the original post, the light switches did not actually work, that is, operating them did not turn a light on.


Hope that casts a light on things.


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Postby emm » Thu Aug 10, 2006 8:14 am

Bob, who’d never thought of light switches with strings which they could’ve tied in knots - because the switches weren’t supposed to be attached to anything (if that’s not nitpicking) - did not, in the end, settle down happily as one might have hoped, with, say, a girl like Kalinka from the next village or even one of her 22 unmarried sisters who had greeted the arrival of the band of little men with a joy rarely witnessed in those Arctic wastes. Oh, no. The warden turned up and put a stop to all that.

He had tracked them down across the frozen tundra by following a trail of such bad Russian that anyone with access to a laptop could easily tell that these guys were not bona fide Russians. He sought them out with revenge on his mozg (mind) and there was nowhere in that little village to содрать (hide) not even in Kalinka’s ample хbuz (no, not Xbox! - bosom). Krasnogvardeyskiy, the little town with a big name was too small for a little man with a big сердцe (heart). Does that sound risqué? I hope not.

Unfortunately things did not work out quite so well for Bob as that last sentence did - he was charged with zadnitzing (crimes against) the Russian language and shipped off to an address down a coal mine north of Yatusk for a period greater than or equal to 25 years which seemed like an unnecessarily heavy penalty for a little lapse of language, don’t you think?


There might be a moral to this story, or then again there might not.
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Postby tarek » Thu Aug 10, 2006 12:30 pm

Пленники могут изменить лампочку?
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Postby udosuk » Thu Aug 10, 2006 1:02 pm

Посмотрите вы делали mcc, вы принесите русскую внутреннюю собственную личность из каждого здесь...

Original English sentence was wrote:L*** a* w*** y**'** d*** M**, y**'** b****** t** R****** i**** s*** o** o* e******* h***...
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Postby tarek » Thu Aug 10, 2006 1:30 pm

udosuk wrote:Посмотрите вы делали mcc, вы принесите русскую внутреннюю собственную личность из каждого здесь...


Я предлагаю 1200 был назван как switchmaster, Я знаю Алексей, Анатолий, Афанасий, Владимир, Виктор, Валерий, Геннадий, Георгий, Григорий, Дмитрий, Евгений, Иван, Игорь, Илья, Константин, Леонид, Максим, Марат, Михаил, Никита, Николай и Олег согласитесь.

Марк Саша Сергеевич т.и.к. 1200


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Postby lunababy_moonchild » Thu Aug 10, 2006 1:45 pm

OK, I've decided that from now on this discussion will be conducted in English - fascinating although the Russian is.

Luna

Evidently I didn't make myself clear. Let me put it this way : any further posts containing Russian will be deleted.
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Postby MCC » Thu Aug 10, 2006 4:00 pm

Okeley dokeley luna:D


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Postby tarek » Thu Aug 10, 2006 8:03 pm

Fine Luna, No Russki, only Angliyski from now on:D

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