999_Springs's nearly impossible quiz! (Now Edited)

Anything goes, but keep it seemly...

999_Springs's nearly impossible quiz! (Now Edited)

Postby 999_Springs » Fri Jan 23, 2009 6:39 am

I don't think that anyone has ever done stuff like this on these forums before, but I think it might be a bit of a change from those silly easy-peasy 11-plus tests and football predictions and other stuff that floats around in the off-topic section.

The quiz is all multiple choice but be warned - there are two questions where the answer isn't any one of the options.

Anyway, whoever wants to take part can post their answers here (or PM me if you really don't want anyone copying your answers, but from the nature of the quiz, it probably won't happen anyway). Whoever gets the highest number of questions correct might get a prize...

Note: anyone caught using Google/Wikipedia/any other internet website which may provide useful information may risk being dissected atom by atom.
(That's just a joke.)
Last edited 3/3/09. Edits in red.

999_Springs's nearly-impossible quiz

What is 1+1?
a. 0 b. 1 c. 11 d. 2

What do cows drink (mostly)?
a. Goat's blood. b. Beer. c. Milk. d. Water.

When is a door not a door?
a. When it's a toothbrush. b. When it's a tortoise. c. When it's a... er... GRAPEFRUIT! d. When it's a jar.

What are carpets made out of?
a. Wood. b. Consecutive/result clauses. c. Chicken nuggets and paper. d. Gas guzzlers and animals.

What is the best accompaniment to sausages?
a. Ketchup. b. Chips. c. Cheese. d. Lemonade.

What do exactly 42% of French people think orbit the Earth?
a. The Moon. b. The Sun. c. Mars. d. Venus.

How many Rowntrees Fruit Pastilles are there in a tube?
a. 13. b. 14. c. 15. d. 16.

What is it?
a. A misspelling of "potato". b. A place name in South Wales. c. The latest Sudoku variant. d. Nothing.

Which number is the biggest?

a. 1.4 b. 1.7 c. 2.0 d. 2.3

Which doesn't exist?
a. My sanity. b. The letter F. c. The purpose of this quiz. d. The correct answer.

Which exists?
a. Wikipedia article for the fraction obtained when 1 is divided by 3. b. Wikipedia article for a safety net. (You know, the thing used to catch an acrobat.) c. Wikipedia article for this. d. Wikipedia article for that.

a. Aluminium carbonate. b. Half moon. c. 56 kbps dial-up modem. d. Purple carrots.

a. Non-existence. b. Integral of x tan x. (No silly made-up functions.) c. sqrt(-1). d. My boredom as I am writing this.

a. Cars that run on liquid water. b. Countries whose capital city is the country. c. Orange text colour in WordPad. d. Element 117.

Which is the largest?
a. Three-elevenths. b. Two-sevenths. c. My house. d. The temperature in degrees Celsius on 10/1/09 in London.

Which is most likely?
a. At most one of Arkietech, RW, Glyn, denis_berthier, Mike Barker, and TTHsieh will post before April. b. Tottenham will get relegated this season. c. If you happen to fall into a two-metre-deep hole in the ground, there will be someone around who will help you out. d. If I roll two fair six-sided dice, they end up down the back of the sofa.

107374182 and three-eighths.
a. Town crier's bell. b. Hacker. c. Blowtorch. d. Nitrous oxide.

Erom Liam _ Swen Spam Segami Bew.
a. Gnippoh. b. Gnipposh. c. Gnippohs. d. Gnipposch.

As of last weekend I found a rolling-pin in my kitchen which I haven't seen since
a. 2001. b. 2003. c. 2005. d. 2007.

18, 14, 17, 16, 16, 18, ? (Assume this is written in the style of the 11-plus.)
a. 14 b. 15 c. 16 d. 17

Which is true?
a. I lost my sanity because I spent four weeks in December/January trying to find a manual solution to #77 from the top1465. b. I have had the kitchen redecorated recently. c. Both. d. Neither.

a. Traffic lights are more annoying than insects. b. Vista is worse than XP. c. Both. d. Neither.

a. I found quite recently hidden behind some ceiling tiles a plank of wood dated 15/8/1999. b. In the same place were two old banana skins and a pastry case. c. Both. d. Neither.

a. I can't find my dictionary. b. Ketchup shouldn't be refrigerated. c. Both. d. Neither.

Ikea's beds are circular!
Their lightbulbs are completely flat!
Their toilet seats are of metal!
Their cups have holes in their bottoms!
Ikea can't spell accessories!
They think it's spelt with just one C!
Ikea also can't spell hand cream!
They thnk it ends in E-M-E!
a. The Entertainer b. Hungarian Rhapsody c. Crazy Frog ringtone d. Prelude #1 by Bach

Football Association Challenge Cup first preliminary round replay 3/9/08. Fill in the scoreline.
Flixton v Bottesford Town
a. 4-7 b. 7-5 c. 6-9 d. 11-7

#14 from the top95

How many times did I need to use brute force to solve the puzzle?
a. Once. You have to guess r4c1. b. Twice. I had to break down two locked doors in order to get access to the puzzle. c. Thrice. I had to do both a and b. d. Four times. I repeatedly had to get a rather annoying person (whom I know) to leave the sort-of-hotel-type room in which I was doing the puzzle.

I have just
a. had mock exams. b. won the lottery. c. gone to the toilet. d. had my front door replaced.

How do you factorise 157519381?
a. With great difficulty. b. By trial division. c. You don't. d. Chicken. Pie. Chicken pie. Chickenpie. Pie chicken. Chicken piechicken. etc. etc. etc...

You are driving down the motorway at 85mph. Your brakes don't work and you need to stop. What do you do?
a. Drive into a lamppost. b. Sideswipe the guardrails. c. Drive into a river. d. Keep driving until you run out of petrol.

I was the first member of these forums who joined in 2007 to
a. reach fifty posts. b. reach the top 100 posters. c. both. d. neither.

Which number is the largest?
a. This question number. b. The answer to question 40. c. The percentage chance that a random person will be able to climb out of the hole mentioned in question 16 unaided. d. The number of pencils I have.

Coasteering is
a. a sport involving voluntarily throwing yourself off eight-metre-high cliffs into the sea. b. something that Wikipedia should have an article on but doesn't. c. both. d. neither.

BT Yahoo! Internet
a. annoyingly seems to automatically refresh every webpage after 3 minutes. b. logs you out of forums after 15 minutes. c. sometimes refuses to load pictures and deliberately leaves out the option to "Show Picture" when you right-click on them. d. sometimes refuses to let you stop loading webpages which take ages to load and won't let you close the window.

What colour do white socks become after contact with seawater for 20 minutes?
a. Green. b. Brown. c. Grey. d. Purple.

You have 30 minutes to move your car.
a. You have 5 minutes. b. You have 10 minutes. c. You have 30 minutes. d. You have 45 minutes.

In 1998 I got rid of a washing machine which originally cost £5, was really bad, and was also
a. triangular. b. made of cardboard. c. orange. d. battery-powered.

One of these statements is false. Which one?
a. 255 multiplied by 362 is 92310. b. "waqf" is a word in the English language. (No, I don't know what it means either.) c. The assassination of Duke Franz-Ferdinand was the trigger point of the start of the First World War. d. It is impossible for a proton to travel at the speed of light.

How old am I?
a. Fifteen. b. Twenty. c. Twenty-five. d. Thirty.

Code: Select all
-1 + ____________________________
           / \
           |         dx
           |  ________________
           |   x sqrt(x² - 4)

What is this? It had some rather unfortunate consequences for me...
a. 7 b. 15 c. 23 d. 31
Once upon a time I was a teenager who was active on here 2007-2011
ocean and eleven should have paired up to make a sudoku-solving duo called Ocean's Eleven
Posts: 473
Joined: 27 January 2007
Location: In the toilet, flushing down springs, one by one.

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